attitude

Feb. 10th, 2011 05:20 pm
mmmpork: (Default)
One thing that is a big challenge for me is my tendency to bitch and moan when things aren't the way I think they should be. I've been making a huge effort to improve that. It's especially bad when it's coworkers. Right now it's a challenge because I'm essentially under-valued and under-ranked. I'm doing my best to not focus on the areas of lack amongst my coworkers, especially folks who I do not feel justly out-rank me. I feel like I'm being held to an unfair standard that others on the team are not being held to. When I've pushed the issue I've just been told to "demonstrate it more" whereas other people are not being asked for this same effort. I feel that I'm going above and beyond and getting kitchen scraps of recognition for it. The truth is, that's my biased perspective and it's not as if I've hit a glass ceiling or anything. I'm just frustrated and unhappy with the present, but hopeful because I'm doing what I can to change it.

I'm not looking to switch jobs right now, however, because I do feel like there are some areas where I need improvement and I have some projects I'm working on at $werk that will help me to grow as a developer. So basically I've just taken the attitude of keeping my head down and just focusing on what's important to me. I've just noticed lately I've been a little overly critical/negative and I need to watch that.

I'm not even really sure what I want in the long run. I'm a little sad because while our team is really fun and there are things I've liked about it, something has changed in the past several months. In particular we split into 2 smaller teams and instituted "SCRUM". This pretty much shot morale and made everyone miserable. The business side just keeps ignoring our needs and pushing stuff down our throats so our planning efforts are basically worthless since we are constantly getting derailed to put out fires.

Anyways I don't know what the issue is but there are clear morale things going on with the team. I haven't been paying much attention since I've been focusing on getting involved with Dreamwidth and some pet projects at $werk. I think that's just the way to go, frankly, I don't want to get caught in any crossfires.

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mmmpork: (Default)
Augustina Blair

June 2011

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